What is a dating milestone? Saying I love you, moving in, getting married... Now that's got to be on anyone's top 3 right? Wrong, in this ever changing world of multi dating, perpetual singledom and non committal relationships have things changed? Is it all so much simpler than that nowadays?
For some people just getting a tooth brush into their boyfriends place is a huge achievement. For instance, I know girls that have been dating their guy for several years yet, if they were to break up there would be little or no evidence that they even existed!
After posing the question about dating milestones to my friends I discovered that most of them considered changing their relationship status on Facebook a bigger milestone than their first kiss. So, with this in mind, here's my question... Have we learnt to settle?
You'd think that in this world of, and I'm quoting Destiny's Child here 'independent women,' where the expectations we place on ourselves are so high, only a great career, fabulous shoes and a wonderful home will do that our expectations of what we want from a partner would match. Why is this not the case? Why are we demanding so much from ourselves, our jobs, our friends and yet not a huge amount from the man in our life? For instance, getting excited when and I'm using real examples here, a guy you've been dating for several months calls you instead of sending a text does not a romance make. To add to this kind of behaviour comes everything that makes the 21st Century, we now have the wonders of mobile phones, Facebook and Skype. All wonderful technologies that make living today easier and enjoyable. But has anyone ever stopped to ponder the question, what effect do these have on our relationships? Instead of dates and meetings we're settling for text conversations and a 'poke' on Facebook, when things like this serve to quench our romantic thirst then is it any wonder we've learnt to adapt and treasure these small scraps of attention, we're now patiently waiting for that relationship change on Facebook, or to even just get a drawer at his, and when these things do happen we feel like we've achieved something, that our relationship is going somewhere, that finally this means something. I'm not saying this is wrong, and if it works for you, then great. But I prefer the old fashioned hollywood glamour of roses on valentines day not just a text and a takeaway.
There is another train of thought to all this, we just don't have time. We're not settling for a text and a takeaway, we're effectively organising our time. A text takes less time than a phone call and if you're hard at work then this is the better option and a takeaway purely for the reason that after a long day you don't want to cook and the chinese down the road does amazing duck wraps, so why waste energy on cooking, that and no one likes washing up.
Now, back on point. What makes a dating milestone? An event so significant in your relationship that you feel a tangible shift in its course? There is of course the argument that it's all down the the couple, different horses for courses and all that, and there will of course will be couples out there who take a more traditional route but for the general masses things have changed. We've evolved so much and in such a short space of time, that relationship milestones have had to change too. Our roles in society have changed, our roles in the home, at work and within social circles, if this is the case than it's not so far fetched to suggest that our role within our relationships have also changed. Maybe it's time for us to stop waiting for milestones and instead start making them? Whether we realise this or not. There are guys out there who will do everything by the book, the old fashioned book, but the book at least. So if you want your milestones to be more traditional, if you want your first kiss to be something memorable that you'll treasure forever then don't settle, but if not then why worry, if you don't want it it's not a problem. Although I'd hazard a guess that even the most independent, 'I don't need no man' type of woman, wouldn't mind being swept off her feet, if only once in a while.