Funky Tasting Spunk!

Yesterday I was having a catch up with one of my girlfriends, conversation quickly de-escalated from mortgages and the walking dead to sex and all things debauched. I'm happily married and must admit I do, on the odd occasion live vicariously through my single friends. She was telling me, we'll call her Joan for reasons of personal privacy, that she'd just had to end things rather abruptly with a very hot, interesting and funny guy for a very gross reason. "His cum tasted like toxic waste!" She told me. It was then concluded that it just wasn't worth dating someone who made her want to vomit each and every time she went down on him. 

At this point I'm pretty shocked, taking into account that foul tasting semen is something that can be improved upon and changed it seemed like a pretty petty reason to end things with what would otherwise be a pretty perfect man. I immediately expressed my thoughts and she counteracted this with, "well you can't change it can you. It's never been nice and to quote Sex and the City, he has some funky tasting spunk!" I had to break the news that just like most things involving your body, you can change it with diet. 

If you're carrying a little extra padding, alter your food intake and watch the pounds drop off, you're suffering from bad skin, matters can be helped with a change of diet. It's exactly the same for semen. Many men will never even have thought about the fact that what they put into their mouths directly affects the taste of their semen, but it does. The main culprits for toxic tasting cum are junk food, cigarettes and alcohol. All of which will leave your lady gagging and not eager to go back for more! Other no no's include cheese, asparagus, fish, garlic and... Sorry for this gym fanatics but too much protein. Semen is already extremely protein rich, so adding more just means it tastes a bit... iffy!

But, fear not, there's plenty you can eat that won't have a negative effect on the taste and even, make it taste nice(er.) Firstly, make sure you're hydrated. You're going to want to drink around one litre of water for every 23kg of body weight. Being well hydrated is vitally important for your overall health and is a key factor for neutral tasting ejaculate.

Other foods you're going to want to get plenty of are sweet fruits such as strawberries, pineapple and mango. You can also add fresh mint to your diet as well as parsley and wheatgrass, these are all packed with chlorophyll which helps to sweeten the taste. Make sure you're eating plenty of vegetables but avoid those with a high percentage of sulphur such as Cabbage, Broccoli and Kale, these will make your seminal fluid taste bitter so it's best to give them a miss if you're planning a passionate encounter later on.

The key to good tasting semen is consistency, keep your diet healthy and varied. Avoid junk food like the plague, the high fat and salt content not only affects the taste but also the viscosity, thick, sticky cum that tastes vile will be what you're producing which is a recipe for an unhappy lady, or lad!

Below is my fool proof  COCKtail recipe for detoxing your man bits, this is guaranteed to give you much better tasting semen. Drink one each morning for a vitamin and mineral boost and after one week you difference will be amazing!


Naughty Nectar Smoothie


Handful of blueberries, 

Handful of strawberries

1/2 an avocado

1 Tbsp fresh parsley

2 tbsp fresh mint

Juice of half a lime

Shot of wheatgrass (optional if you have it already)

Handful of spinach

100ml cranberry juice (or to avoid the sugar use plain water)

Blitz together to form a smoothie, drink, and enjoy. (image above... I'm enjoying mine now and fully expect fabulous tasting semen by the end of the week!)