Micro-cheating. Never heard of it before? Well, let me break it down for you. Micro-cheating is any minor misdemeanour that your partner may not like. Anything from striking up conversation on a long train journey to liking someone’s instagram posts can count.
Now I’m all for mutual accepted ground rules, its an important part of any couple to know where their boundaries lie and to agree not to over step the mark. But there has to be limits to our limits.
The idea of micro-cheating being a dumpable offence worries me; it promotes controlling behaviour from one side and forces the other partner to modify their behaviour to appease their partner. Thus removing any ability for them to make their own decisions or navigate life using their own moral compass.
What we need to focus on when it comes to infidelity is the intention. A good rule of thumb is to consider whether or not your behaviour would be different if your partner were to be present.
If you are ever worried about what your partner is doing then talk to them, be specific and concise. However, this new obsession with micro cheating often sees reason go out of the window. More often than not little actions, especially those on social media mean nothing. It’s always helpful to take a step back and put yourself in their shoes. Mostly, if we are honest with ourselves it’s the drama that we’re sucked into, the heady thrill of argument and reconciliation is what draws us to focus on micro cheating. This cycle of behaviour is both unhealthy and unhelpful; it sets a precedent and could mean that your partner withdraws from you when it comes to open and honest conversation.
The bottom line is that trust should be paramount in your relationship, if you don’t trust your partner you need to as yourself why. If it’s past behaviour talk to them, if it’s present behaviour talk to them, if it’s none of these then talk to yourself.