It’s believed that swinging, at least how we know of it today came into wider practice during the 1950’s in America. Is it a coincidence that this coincided with the invention and subsequent availability of the contraceptive pill? I think not. Suddenly, women could be solely responsible for their own sexual practices in confidence. Swinging has gone on quite a journey, from keys in the punchbowl to apps and websites specifically designed to find you someone to swing with. Below are my top tips for giving you that first push into swinging.
1. Firstly, talk. You and your partner both need to be on the same page when it comes to sexually socialising with other people. You might want to suggest a book or film that involves swinging in some way. This will mean the subject can be broached easily and skirted away from without question if they’re just not interested. If they seem keen then the floor is yours. There are a lot of things that can go wrong if you haven’t first taken the time to discuss each and every aspect with your partner. It’s important at this stage to monitor your emotional responses to different scenarios, as jealousy is one of the main emotions swingers initially will have to deal with.
2. The next step is to start slowly. You don’t need to rush into anything straight away. The world of swinging has been about for years and is growing ever more popular as time goes on. So don’t worry, it’s not going anywhere. Do some research online together, look at reviews of the clubs near to you and get a feel for the swinging scene in your area.
3. The next thing you need to do is to set some ground rules. Both you and your partner need to be very clear from the word go about what it is you want from the experience. You may feel that foreplay is where the limits lie, if something isn’t a yes from both of you then it’s a no no. This is the perfect way to make sure you understand your partners desires and that they understand yours.
4. Next you might want to log on to get turned on. The Internet is a wonderful place and with websites such as Swing Towns you can browse potential playmates from the comfort of your own home. You can also create a profile that is tailor made to attract the type of people you’re into, those with similar mind-sets and feelings. This is also a great way of testing the water with your partner and at this point if it doesn’t feel right or something’s amiss you need simply to close your laptop rather than make an escape from a room full of swingers.
5. Once you’ve found your perfect playmate online you should plan a non-sexual meeting before you do the do. This will give everyone a chance to know each other and for you to see how you feel face to face with your new friends. Once again this is something you and your partner should talk about afterwards, it’s a great opportunity to appease any concerns either of you might have.
6. Swing with someone online. Before you commit to a swingers club it’s a good idea to seal the deal after sourcing someone online. This way your first time will be with someone handpicked by you and your partner meaning that you’ve given your initial experience the best chance of being a fantastic one.
7. If everything has gone well and both you and your partner feel like the lifestyle is something you’re both up for then visit a club. Initially you might want to watch from the side lines, get to know people within the community and just get a feel for larger scale events. You don’t need to dive in headfirst; but of course you can do if it feels right!
If you feel like you might enjoy the lifestyle then there are bound to be some challenges you’ll have to face, but rest assured more and more people are finding that traditional relationships can survive, nay, thrive within the swinging lifestyle of sexual adventure.